Still in love with elephants!

Somethings just don't change and I know I will forever be in love with elephants! I just wanted to share that one of our boys sleeps with the elephant that my dear friends got for me when so many cards were sent to Adam and I along with prayers! Who knew in just a few months after receiving it, a 7 year old sweetheart of ours would be sleeping with it?!?!How ironic is it that? When I am allowed upload pics, I will show you how adorable he looks with it! :)

Now, check out my favorite costume of this Halloween season! When I saw Elliott in this costume I couldn't stop smiling! (Yes, I think Elliott is getting ready to smile, don't you? :) )If the boys would have let me, I would have dressed them as elephants! Elephants still symbolize what all we've been through and how much prayers of dear friends got us through such a hard time in our lives. Any time I see one, I still smile and am reminded of how prayers and faith can get you through the darkest hours. Just wanted to share that elephants are still the coolest animals around! :)

God Still Answers Prayer

I am sure most people have heard our wonderful news. There are a lot of rules going on, so I cannot reveal too much on the internet but I just couldn't wait any longer to share on my blog how much we have been blessed!!

Let me start from the beginning, but again I cannot say names, etc. but I do want to share our story.

Before school started Neesa, Katie and I were at Target when we saw two brothers who had been at our school previously and they came up and asked us if we had seen them on TV, because they had been on MidDay live and were wanting to be adopted. That stuck with me. I prayed for God to send a sign if I was supposed to do something about this because I couldn't stop thinking about these two boys. I knew a baby was all Adam and I could think about and wanted at the time, but I just felt so strongly about this. I never told anyone about it. Well, about 4 days later Allie and I were out to eat and she started telling me that our aunt had seen two boys on MidDay and she wished we could adopt them. I immediately started to search for a video or something I could show Adam.

Finally, I found a video on WBKO (no it's not on there anymore) of the boys. I showed it to Adam and I said "Adam I want them." He in turn said "call." We then began calling and went through a lot of meetings, etc. and decided to adopt these boys. (That's a shortened version.)

So, for the last month, we have been on a visitation schedule, where we get to be with them twice a week and then they are staying the weekends with us. They are 7 & 9 and we are completely in love with them. I love them just as much as if I had carried them for 9 months. And yes, they look exactly like Adam!

Things are going exceptionally well, which I believe is all because this is God's plan. Adam and I have never been so happy and the emptiness we felt in our hearts for so long has been filled. As of December 17th, the boys will be in our home all the time. Then everything should be finalized by the end of February or beginning of March, meaning they'll take our last name and we'll be "officially" their parents.

When I am allowed to, I will post pics and much more about the boys. There are so many rules, etc. so this is all I can share at this time, but I want to thank everyone for the prayers you have prayed for our family. We continue to need those prayers that this will all be as smooth a transition as possible for our boys and us.

Love to you all!

Thank You Might Never Be Enough

After returning home from a LONG first day of school, I walk in my kitchen and on my counter I found this gift bag that said "I said a prayer for you today." Inside I found the sweetest little elephant rattle and big elephant with a precious bracelet, and a CD with inspiring songs. More than that, I found 19 cards from people who have been praying for our family. Some from family and my best friend, dear friends, and then from some people I know, but I had no idea they knew of our situation or had been praying for us.

I sat in the middle of the floor reading each and every word that was written. I had to get a tissue half of the way through because my tears were blocking my ability to read. Our situation can be extremely difficult and there are days I feel so alone, but today my heart was full of joy knowing there are so many of you out there praying for us. This was the sweetest gift because I know it was from the hearts of all who wrote in it.

I love each of you and "thank you" truly couldn't be enough for the joy I feel in my heart and the thankfulness I have for each prayer you have said for us. I appreciate the gift and prayers more than you will ever know. Please consider this my deepest thanks for everything and I am asking that you continue to pray for us that we'll be blessed with a family and do everything we are supposed to do. There are so many unknowns and uncertainties along this journey, but I know in the end God will provide the family we are supposed to have.

I am so thankful for getting the courage to begin this blog as I believe it has opened people's eyes to the fact that not evereything in life is Mayberry or Leave it to Beaver. I feel I have had contact with people I never would have before and they have strengthened me in ways I never thought possible. Thank you again for your kindness, words will never express the joy the present brought me.

Our future family may not be a "traditional" family but it will be ours and perfect for us and for that I am extremely thankful.





Here is the sweet bag.




The sweetest elephants with a "believe" bracelet, which I will wear A LOT!




The cards & CD before I opened them :)

The Happenings

I haven't posted or been on "Blogger World" in a while so I thought I would play a little catch-up. First, I deleted my other blog... I honestly forgot I had it and I think most people did too. This will be the only one I have, so I might have other things besides baby news on here.

For our summer vacation we went to Disney World. We took Mom and Dad with us too! We had an absolute BLAST! We loved going while we don't have children so we could do the things we love without having to do what the kids want... sounds selfish I know, but since we are waiting for kids, we think being selfish is sometimes OK. :) One day I am sure we'll take our children and love it then too, but this was nice too!

Then when we got back, Mom, Allie and I went to a Paul McCartney concert... yes I said Paul McCartney who is 68 years old from the Beatles. Now, Mom has been OBSESSED with Paul since she was 13 and has been dying to see him in concert. So, being the wonderful daughters we are, Allie and I went with her. I wasn't expecting much, but WOW was I surprised! Paul can rock more than any band I can think of! He played for 3 solid hours and it was like a major rock concert! I would totally go back to see him again... much to mom's happiness! She was like a teenager all over again and seeing her so happy made it all worth while!

Here are the pics from our trip and the concert.



Deep down, I am a Princess! :)




My new best friend Yoda.




Mom and I LOVE 3D!!!!



My sweet parents




My home away from home :)




While we were in Florida, Adam and I celebrated our 7th Anniversary! He has given me the best 7 years of my life! I am so blessed to have a wonderful husband!




Allie and I love to rock it out! We actually taught mom a few things... you'll see in the next pic.




Yes, our mom ROCKS!!!



We had to eat at Spaghetti Factory before we saw Paul!




This could've been my dad if only he'd met mom in the 60's! LOL

Great Practice

I got some awesome baby practice this morning! Our friends who just adopted, Brad and Brianna, were in need of a babysitter this morning!! Brad was helping Adam at the barn and Brianna had an appointment, so I was the lucky one who got to keep Jake, who is 5 weeks old! I invited Allie over for reinforcement, since I am really new at this. She and I were in baby heaven! I got to feed, burp, rock, and change his poopy diaper. Great practice for me! Here are some sweet pics of this precious gift Brad and Brianna have been blessed with! Also, check out the outfit, yes, he came over in an elephant outfit and he had the same blanket Alicia just got Baby Cassady! Thanks Brad and Brianna for sharing your sweet miracle with me today!

I Did It!

This may seem like a small thing to most of you, but to me, I feel like I have just climbed Mt. Everest! Over a year ago, I went to a baby shower and had to leave early because I couldn't stop crying. I haven't ever been so miserable hiding in a bathroom so no one would see my pain and my tear stained shirt. Since then, I have taken a hiatus from all baby showers. Even ones at school that I was in charge of getting together (don't even ask). I would get them ready and find a reason to leave before it all got started.

When I got the invitation to go to Jessica Parsley and baby Annie's "sprinkle" I thought, "OK Emily, you can do this." I hate not going to things because I love the company of good friends, but knowing how horribly I did at the last one I went to, I never wanted to do a replay. So, I put my big girl panties on and went. Guess what?!?! No hurt! Did I wish I could be having one too? Heck yeah! Yet, never once did I feel the complete and utter sadness I had felt over a year ago. With each gift I didn't want to cry, scream, or throw up! When conversations were all about the pain and joy of childbirth, things so many doctors have said I will never experience, I didn't want to cry and wallow in self-pity.

When people do talk about diapers, bottles, hair bows, boys clothes, etc. I do feel something... left out. Not in a middle school sort of way, where I am plotting revenge :), but I feel like a dork sitting there with absolutely NOTHING to add to that type of conversation. It doesn't mean I don't want people to talk about that around me. I promise I am not fragile and it really doesn't bother me. I don't want people walking on eggshells around me, I just hate that I have to sit in silence. Contrary to what a lot people think, I am not quiet and can actually be pretty crazy! :) It amazes me how many people think I am quiet... when I hear that there is a part of me that dies laughing! Just hang around me long enough and you'll see ;)

Anyway, just wanted to share my climbing of Mt. Everest! I am just glad God has healed a part of my heart where I can rejoice with others again and feel so much happiness for those around me who are being blessed with children. There are still broken pieces that won't be able to be put back together until Carter or Ava arrive, but there are little band-aids on there now. I honestly never thought I would be able to say that and really mean it from the bottom of my heart, with God's help and many, many, many prayers, I can.

A Loved Child

A friend of ours was over the other night and he said "you know, a child is loved so much when you are expecting, but your child, gosh, what love he/she is going to feel because you've waited so long." He also said if I ever felt that no one was thinking about us, that I always needed to know his wife talks about us all the time and that filled my heart. Sometimes people don't know that what they say is just what you needed at that moment. I know when mom's are pregnant the love they feel for their child before they even see them is unconditional. I too feel this way about our miracle in waiting. I have no idea if they are in this world yet, have been conceived, or if their birth mother is about to make the hardest decision of her life at this very moment. I truly pray for birth mothers and thank God for them. Not only do I already love my child, but so many of my friends and family do too. Here are the latest Baby Cassady presents that my dear friends have bought.



What an adorable little blanket that would work for Carter or Ava! Alicia bought this for us. She is already finding deals on all kinds of baby stuff, we just need a baby to know when to buy it! ;)



These are precious little onesies! Neesa is working at Gymboree during the summer and she said she couldn't wait anymore! It's killing her to work around all of the cute baby stuff and not get it all for Carter or Ava! If we knew if it were Carter or Ava or both, this would help with the desire to purchase everything in site! ;)

It's not just the gifts that excite me, it's that my friends and family are wanting this for us as badly as we are wanting it for ourselves. So many times people have hugged me and said they're praying for us. That fills my heart and helps me get through another day. Now, I am not always sad about this and there are days that I feel such peace, but on those rough days, I try to think of all my family and friends prayers that I know are going to prove out!