Thursday, December 31, 2009

One More Step completed in our "Elephant" Pregnancy

OK, so if you didn't know... elephants are pregnant around 22 months. My cousin said when we decided on an adoption agency and signed the first papers, we were pregnant. So... I decided we are going to be like an elephant's pregnancy, maybe even longer.

So, Anne came today at 11:30 and didn't leave until 4:00! She came and interviewed Adam and I together on our family values, expectations, family history, etc. Next, she had to tour our home and check the safety things, which I am happy to say we passed with flying colors! :) Then she interviewed Adam and I separately. Asking us questions about each other and our relationship and our families. Then she needed a house plan, our fire escape plan (yes we have to have that hanging somewhere in our home), and check where all of the smoke alarms are. She needed our house plan to see if our room sizes would meet standard... can you believe there is a standard on room sizes for the process?!?! I am glad we weren't living in our other house or we might have been in trouble in that department!

Good news though... she did all she needed to do while she was here, so.... we have to pay her a hefty fee, get our criminal background checks done and sent to her, and then finish our profile (a book showing pics of us, our home and families) and send it in and we are on the waiting list! :) This means, hopefully as of the middle of January, we will be officially awaiting the call for the arrival of a new baby Cassady. There is no timeline or anything that can guarantee when we could get the call, but at least we have made it this far! If we do end up waiting a while, we will probably change our profile to say we would take a toddler instead of just a newborn or a baby that is just a few months old.

On a fun note... here are the names we want to use for our baby to be. I have had quite some time to think about this so.... if it is a boy "Carter Daniel Cassady" will be his name. Carter because I like that name and Daniel for Adam's middle name. If it is a girl... "Ava Kinser Cassady" will be her name. Ava cause I like it and Kinser for Mamaw (Adam's grandma's maiden name) We actually went to her house and told her that not too long ago and shared a beautiful teary eyed moment together. :) Yes, even Adam teared up when Mamaw did!

So in closing, thanks for the prayers for us today, as it went so well. Please keep praying for us and we will keep you posted through the blog and I promise to talk about something other than adoption too! When school starts back I will have kid stories to tell too, along with Adam stories too! Love to you all!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Thanks and Thursday :)

First of all, I never believed I would receive such sweet comments on my first post! I told Alicia today that I felt that a weight was lifted off of me when I typed that last night. I felt that I didn't want to be secretive or not have people talk to us because we are not ashamed of our situation and know, however hard it is, there is a reason for this and God will guide us through. I appreciate your comments, which let me know you were all feeling like me, I knew you didn't want to hurt me but you didn't know what to do or say. Please talk away, as this is one of the most important events in my life and I want to share it with all of my friends and family! So thank you for assuring me, this whole blog thing is a good thing for me, even if I don't have a lot of pics or fun kid stories to tell! (Although, I do have Adam, who I know will provide many funny stories for the blog in the future) :)

Now on Thursday, our case worker, Anne, is coming for our first official home visit. We aren't fully sure what that is going to entail. Nice huh, to be guessing at what exactly is going to happen. Most likely she is just going to look at our home and make suggestions on our safety things, but it could be interviews with Adam and I and then us separately. This is just one step closer to our dream, yet it makes my stomach churn to think about someone coming to our home and looking at us under a microscope. So, please pray for Adam and I on Thursday that we will get through this step and move on toward our final goal, a precious child! Love you all!

Monday, December 28, 2009

A long Journey

So I promise not to make this a boring blog, but I thought I would tell a little about the journey we are going through. I feel like people try to avoid talking to me because they are going to upset me by saying something about adoption, babies, etc. I feel though that when people are not saying anything at all is sometimes harder for me to accept. The song "When You Say Nothing At All" doesn't apply to our situation. So, here it all is out in the open and hopefully I will not be hard to approach about this anymore.
We found out last year on Oct. 14 that we were unable to have children. This was extremely hard news to hear and not everyone was very sensitive to it or us, which was hard too. Adam was very hurt by this news as our "issue" stemmed from him. He said a lot of things that would bring a strong man to tears. We struggled through these emotions together, but I wanted to adopt from the get-go, but Adam wouldn't hear of it. This put a huge strain on our relationship. We went for a long time in an emotional funk... words cannot tell you how this felt.
Finally, after several months, we were sitting watching CSI New York of all things and a lady on the show had a baby. This already brought tears to my eyes, as it is hard to see babies period sometimes, but then Adam looked at me and said "it's time... I want to adopt and have a family." This made my heart feel whole again.
We then began searching for adoption agencies. We went to an orientation meeting at one in Mt. Washington. When we went, Adam opened up to the case worker more than he had anyone and at that moment I knew this was the one! We've had to go to CPR training, First Aid training, get physicals, background checks, fingerprints, and even more things I don't want to bore you with. We also have to have 3 home visits in which we have to have childproof things, pictures of cribs, etc., which is heartbreaking to even look at when we do not have any children. Did I mention we have to pay for all of this too? Home visits, all the trainings, plus paying for the final adoption fee... which is EXPENSIVE!!! I know it will be worth it all...
Anyway, we are on our way to having the family we have always dreamed of, but it isn't as easy. Daily, I pray for strength, patience, and understanding of why we are having to go through this, when other people seem to have children so easily.
Please don't get me wrong, God has blessed me more in my life than I have ever deserved. I am so thankful for my salvation, my church, my family, my friends. Yet, there is a missing part and I struggle with this daily.
Thank you for listening and I promise I will not blog something this long again, but I just thought this might help anyone who is wondering what is going on with us, and maybe make us a little more approachable and a little less "fragile." I appreciate all the support and prayers, as we need them daily.

I finally took the Blog Plunge!

After having to put all sorts of child-proof features on our house this weekend for our first official home visit with our adoption agency(yes, child-proof, but no child), I felt the need to vent about what we are having to go through to have a family, something that seems to come so easily to others. So, this blog was how I thought I could do it.

Our "medicine cabinet" we're trying not to overdose!

The baby gate on the deck stairs, we don't want Adam to fall down! :)

Wonder what this is? Doesn't everyone have a manual when you get something new? Well, this is the book (one of many) we have to read in order to adopt our children!